Sexual Orientation 101: 3 Ways to Explore What Fits This Pride Month

Why Pride Month Matters

Pride Month isn’t just about rainbows, glitter, and dance remixes (though those are great perks). It’s about celebrating LGBTQIA+ people, honoring the  history, and showing up for each other. Pride started as a protest — a powerful response to discrimination, led by trans women of color during the Stonewall Uprising in 1969. Today, Pride reminds us that being yourself is powerful and beautiful.

If you’re wondering about your sexual orientation, Pride month is a great time to start exploring.

What Does LGBTQIA+ Mean?

Sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually (or maybe you're not attracted to anyone in those ways — and that's okay too). It's not one-size-fits-all. Think of it more like a colorful buffet than a fixed menu. Here’s a quick guide to some of the most common labels:

• L: Lesbian — A woman who is into women.

• G: Gay — Usually describes men who like men, but can also be used more broadly.

• B: Bisexual — Attracted to more than one gender.

• T: Transgender — Someone whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth.

• Q: Queer — An umbrella term for people who don’t identify as straight or cisgender (meaning your gender identity matches the sex you were assigned at birth). It’s flexible, powerful, and a little rebellious. Some love it, some still see it as a slur — take it or leave it.

• I: Intersex — People born with physical traits (like chromosomes or genitals) that don’t fit the usual definitions of male or female. Totally natural, totally human.

• A: Asexual — Someone who experiences little or no sexual attraction. This can also include people who are aromantic (not into romantic relationships) or graysexual (rarely experience attraction).

• +: That little plus is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It includes:

• Pansexual: Attracted to people regardless of gender

• Demisexual: Needs a strong emotional connection before feeling sexual attraction

• Nonbinary: A gender identity outside the male/female binary

• Two-Spirit: A term used by some Indigenous people to describe a sacred, gender-diverse identity

And many more. The "+" is a reminder that identity is vast, evolving, and beautifully complex. You don’t have to memorize them all. Just know there’s room for you here.

3 Ways to Explore Your Sexual Orientation

1. Notice What Feels True

Start with the labels above. Which ones make you curious? Which ones make your shoulders relax? Or tense up? Any weird butterflies or body warmth happening?

If something makes you feel seen — or even just a little spark of "maybe" — that matters. And if some terms make you want to slam your laptop shut, hey, that’s useful too.

2. Let TV, Books, and TikTok Be Your Guide

Seriously. Watch shows with queer characters. Read queer love stories. Scroll through creators who talk openly about identity. Then ask yourself: How do I feel right now? Am I moved? Confused? Turned on? Seen?

Sometimes we find ourselves in someone else’s story. And sometimes we don’t. Either way, it’s all info.

And remember: Just because something makes your heart race (or your palms sweat) doesn’t mean you have to label yourself. Unless you want to. Then go for it.

3. Find Supportive People to Talk To

You don’t need to figure everything out in your head. In fact, it’s way easier when you don’t.

• Check out LGBTQIA+ centers near you — many have groups or events

• Join online spaces like PFLAG or The Trevor Project

• Talk to a queer-affirming sex therapist (hi! that’s me) who can help you untangle the stuff that feels too big to do alone

Exploring your orientation can bring up excitement, fear, grief, and joy. All of it deserves space.

There's No Right Way to Be Yourself

Repeat after me: You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to label anything. You get to change your mind. You get to grow.

Sexual orientation is yours to define. Or not define. It’s not a test. It’s a journey. And you’re doing great.

Want Support Along the Way?

This work can feel big. But you don’t have to do it alone. If you're ready to explore your identity with a supportive, queer-affirming sex therapist, reach out to work with me. I'd be honored to walk beside you.